I think it is very important in life to look back and take a refresher of the past. Looking back on my life journey and the role God played in protecting me is very evident, but only when I reflect and look back. This entry will do just that...and may you also see God's hand in your life as you read through this.
I have often wondered why I had to walk this journey that I walked, well one thing is for sure people have freewill... and what they do with that freewill is up to them, whether they hurt others or help, hate or love others, guide or mislead...it is really in their hands. Why am I saying this, plenty of what has happend to me was the cause of peoples' choices to do what they feel is right. These choices that they made have not always been "good" to me, I can say the same thing for some of my choices. None the less, God has been there protecting me from causing plenty of damage to myself. The mere fact that I am able to sit here, with a cup of good coffee, and write this should speak of the love and protection God has/had over my life.
I do believe that the crucial part in my journey to healing is the fact that I managed to forgive...this was/is not easy. This was the hardest part of my journey, and at times still is. So looking back the healing really "took-off" when I started to forgive (those mentioned in the previous posts). Unforgiveness had a massive impact on my health, both physically and mentally. Only with God it was possible for me to forgive and every now and then I still have to forgive, as soon as I feel those feelings of recentment popping up. He gives me the strength to do this, out of my own it was/is impossble to completely forgive. This is also evident when I look back in my life...So please hear me out...forgiveness is not a feeling...it is a choice and sometimes over and over and over again. The day I realised that it is a choice and not a feeling...the healing started in overdrive...
Looking back God placed various God fearing men on my path to help me with this journey, some are still in my life, others popped in for a chapter or two... These men helped me to understand how it should look like to be a dad, a friend and a husband, this in tern has helped me to do the same to others, to help them with their journey. I do do believe that this is the outcome for the pain in my past, and this is a strong calling for me. I just have to mention that the men that helped me with this journey are also mere men, they make mistakes too, the devil used that to cause more pain for me at times, but by the grace of God the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to realise that I need to look at the heart of man...this also in turn helped me to not ruin my own life with guilt when I make a mistake.
Looking back is a very important skill to develop, not to guilt trip yourself, but to learn, to see how you have grown, or not and also to see the Hand of God in your life. I make a point of it to once a year read through my old Bible study books and notes to see the promises that I have received from God and how they have come true, or how He is busy with that chapter of my life.
Looking back also helps you realise that you are not alone on this journey of life, we are so easy to think this... Since I started this blog so many people have said to me that they always thought that they are alone on this journey. This is a lie that the devil wants you to believe, by making you feel guilty and ashamed... You are stronger than this, by the grace of God.
I will leave you with this for today:
Philippians 4: 13 "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me the strength."
This will only be true if you have : Surrendered your hart to God through His Son whom died on the cross for all our sins, and then rose again to defeat the devil once and for all.